Web Analytics and Web Statistics by NextSTAT The Boston Sports Nut: Mr Stonebreaker

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Mr Stonebreaker

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN YANKEE STADIUM on that eventful day they dug up Papi's shirt.

At 4:17AM Sunday, Bronx police stopped a man who was driving a beat-up 1975 Lincoln Continental erractically across the George Washington Bridge. The man, dressed in a ski mask and wearing mud-covered boots exited his vehicle, rented from Bronx Wrecked Rentals three blocks from Yankee Stadium. claimed to be Hal Stonebreaker, an executive associated with a local baseball team. Police searched the vehicle and found a mud-covered shovel, a pic-ax, a bunch of old Chinese coins, dirty bottles, kitchen utensils and some old worn out magazines.

Mr. Stonebreaker was speaking incoherently, laughing continuously, muttering something about a curse and a shirt and kept asking the police, ‘Who’s your Pappy?’ Police then escorted Mr. Stonebreaker to the site of the new Yankee Stadium where he pointed out approximately 75 holes he had dug during the night while searching for a shirt. This being Sunday, there were no workers to be seen. Officers shook their heads in amazement and were then brought up to the executive’s office where Mr. Stonebreaker went inside alone and came out 5 minutes later with 30 autographed balls of his star player, Darren Jater and began handing them out to New York’s finest. One of the officers curiously entered the room where Mr. Stonebreaker had exited and found a Scripto Marking pen on his desk with a box of major league baseballs.
When being informed that he was being taken into custody, Mr. Stonebreaker began screaming....’call my Manager...call my Manger, John Torrey’ unaware that Mr. Torrey had left the team to manage elsewhere. When one of the police officers infomed him that ‘Mr. Torrey was no longer manager’, Mr. Stonebreaker went into a frenzy, yelling "when did that happen...why didn’t anybody tell me about it.’

Police then called his brother, who told them to take him to Bellvue Medical Hospital for observation and treatment, where he will remains on a month-to-month basis.

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